eat this

moe just left to get lunch. he eats fast food every day. today it's Vortex coronary bypass with fries. meanwhile i am trying to choke down 18 month old Nutrisystem meals so that I can lose my baby weight. it's gross. the other night - Friday night - i couldn't do it anymore and ate Krystal for lunch and a pint of ice cream with theatre butter popcorn for dinner. when i told moe about the binge he simply said, 'Why?'

not one of my girlfriends has ever asked me that before which is when i realized how differently men and women feel about food. if i were to tell any one of my girlfriends that, they would have responded with their latest binge and the circumstances surrounding it. 'oh girl, please, i have that every night' or 'just one pint?' but when moe asked me, 'why?' i really didn't have an answer. because i hate myself? because i wanted to relive every lifetime original movie starring meredith baxter birney that i've ever seen? i don't know why. sometimes girls just binge. it would never occur to him to do that and if it did, he would never give it a second thought, much less agonize over it for days the way i did.

then again, why would he ever have to agonize over it? eating that would not phase him. he's really quite a phenomenon when it comes to eating. he did come to the realization the other day that living with him while dieting must not be easy. this is a man who almost seems hurt if i say 'no, i don't want anything, thanks' and who brings home McDonald's at least five times a week. he is a genetic superstar and never gains a pound. i have started saying, 'sure, get me a salad' every time he goes out which seems to make us both happy. it makes him happy because i'm not eyeing him like a lion would an injured gazelle and it makes me happy because if i'm eating a salad then it gives me something to do rather than steal fries off his plate.

any mintue now he will be eating a huge burger topped with a fried egg and bacon (not to mention a side of fries) and i will be sitting right beside him with my house salad thinking, 'this is why.'