boo hoo

i just applied for another job. i haven't done that in... seven years? maybe longer. to be honest, i don't even know what the job was. it was in atlanta and i seemed qualified, so i made up a resume and sent it in. i didn't agonize over any of it. it took me about half an hour to do the resume. i asked a couple friends to look it over. that was that. i hope there were no typos in it or glaring errors, but at the same time, i really don't care that much.

it's possible that i have no idea what i'm doing or what direction my life is about to take. or maybe everything will stay the same. i can't stop living inside my own head. it's crazy in there.

5pm

it's 5:07pm - i'm sitting at my desk wearing a black t-shirt (i really need to wear scoop necks - this crew neck is not right for me), brown pants and black shoes. i don't have on any make up or have any product in my hair. i'm fairly certain that at this time of day i have mild to moderate body odor.

this morning i had a cup of coffee with cream and cinnamon (one splenda) and a stick of sugar free gum. for lunch i went home and had two pieces of leftover tilapia (not heated) and went house hunting. when i returned to work, i purchased a diet coke for $1 at wendy's. now i'm using the cup to drink water.

i am watching CNN on mute. periodically, i check facebook. i'm sure i could be doing something productive, but instead all i do is look on real estate websites and do pointless searches for homes that i want but can't afford or homes i don't really want but can afford.

i'm about to go home and play with babies until about 8pm which is when i will eat something. i think i'll eat broccoli and leftover grilled steak. or maybe grilled steak on a salad.

after that, i should do something like laundry, but i won't. i'll watch the final two episodes of mad men that are on demand. i've been saving them for today. no reason, really. i just try to watch no more than two a day.

i'm sure i'll get back online and do more fruitless home searches until i feel like screaming and/or crying.

around 10p or 11p i'll go to bed without preparing anything for the next day. i won't know where my keys are or if i have any clean underwear. i'll be 33 next week and i still haven't learned to get my things ready the night before.

at some point, moe will come home and say, "i'm starving, babes" and then he'll prbobably go to McDonald's because he won't want to wake anyone by making noise in the kitchen. even though it never wakes anyone, he just doesn't feel like doing it. he'd rather go to McDonald's.

it's 5:21pm now. i have nine more minutes until go time.

i just spent several seconds making fart noises and tapping my fingers on my keyboard wondering what i would say next.

a friend just sent me an IM and asked if i wanted to go ahead and walk out.

i do.

nothing much

sometimes at night i'll think about something i want to blog about, but then once i get up and moving the inspiration leaves me. i feel compelled to blog something, though, so i'm just going to ramble nonsensically for about twenty minutes and call it a day. i feel sort of bad for the manufacturers of Mirena, because at least 10 of you are now against it thanks to my last blog. i'm glad i'm not as popular as oprah or they would probably sue me. ironically, i'm barely even nursing any more so pretty soon i can use any kind of birth control i want.

i went on vacation a couple weeks ago and in spite of all my pumping efforts (while standing in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, while riding in the back of a compact car going 85mph along the scenic highway, while sharing a hotel with two single girls who were both fascinated and repulsed, etc), Bella didn't really have much interest in me when i returned. even though i still had milk. it sort of made me sad. i'm still nursing her about 3x a day, but she also takes formula and baby food now so i think i'm a distant third when it comes to her preference. it's too much work, i guess.

if you ever want to go to (or have to go to) Minneapolis, it's really fun and a nice place to visit. we were mainly in Duluth and Beaver Bay (on Lake Superior), but we spent one night in Minny and had a great time. we loved everywhere we went, actually. lots of white folks, which as you know tends to freak me out a bit, but still. it was nice anyway. except they have some sort of vendetta against smokers there. a lot of places wouldn't even let my friend smoke outside. she wasn't thrilled about that part.

i was just rudely interrupted for work so this blog sucks. sor'.